


Just the two of us and a cute little cup of cyanide

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, If y'all are here for the smut then you're going to be very disappointed, Las Vegas Wedding, M/M, Pining, There isn't any, Weddings, Well it's not explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-04
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-16 03:58:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2255025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I definitely need something alcoholic if I’m going to watch my two best mates divorce,” Niall says, yanking a top over his head. </p><p>“We’re not actually married,” Liam says, with slightly more force than intended. “It was an accident. Obviously I wouldn’t ever get married to Zayn if I was sober, that’s fucking ridiculous.”</p><p>The bathroom door opens suddenly and Zayn stands there in nothing but a towel, bottom lip trapped between his teeth. Liam opens his mouth to say something but Zayn holds up his hand, shaking his head. “You don’t need to be a dick about it, Liam. This isn’t exactly how I envisioned my first marriage going either.”</p><p> </p><p>Or an I-accidentally-married-my-best-mate-in-Vegas fic, where Liam's completely oblivious, Zayn's completely in love, Harry's had enough, Louis plays mediator and Niall just wants his best friends to be with each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just the two of us and a cute little cup of cyanide

**Author's Note:**

> (IamstillnotsureifthisisanygoodI'msorry)
> 
> This was for an anon prompt on tumblr who asked for an accidental Ziam marriage. I hope this is the kind of disgustingly fluffy thing you're after.

Liam is very, very, _very_ hungover.

 

He wakes up and groans, refusing to even open his eyes because he knows the light will make this headache one hundred thousand times worse. He debates rolling over but his stomach lurches at the thought so he resigns himself to just lie there and wait for death.

 

A body stirs next to him and he reaches out almost instinctively, but his hand is immediately slapped away.

 

“Get the fuck away from me, Payno,” a voice warns.

 

That’s almost definitely Niall. Liam risks almost certain death to check and cracks an eye open, spying the shock of blonde hair poking out from under the duvet next to him. He groans again and shuffles away. “Sorry, pal.”

 

“Shut up,” Niall says back, heaving out a deep breath before he presumably goes back to sleep. Liam closes his eyes again and tries to fall back to sleep but his head is pounding too hard to let him drop back under. Instead he lies there silently, rubbing at his aching belly in the hope that he’s not going to vomit all over the bed if he does it enough.

 

Eventually all the rubbing just makes him need to piss so he sits up slowly, trying to contain the nausea that spreads down him, holding his head in his hands. He stands up even slower, putting one foot in front of the other clumsily towards the bathroom where he empties his bladder before almost jumping at his own reflection.

 

He looks tired and gaunt, of course he does, but what makes him jump is the fact that his face is covered in writing. He squints at himself, trying to focus in on the words that are written sloppily across his forehead and cheeks.

 

_JUST MARRIED!!!_

 

He snorts, trying in vain to wash it off (he blames fucking Harry for being famous enough to carry around a sharpie at all times) before resigning himself to the fact that it’s going to need more than just water and if he stays standing for much longer he’s going to puke.

 

He shuffles back through into the bedroom. Louis and Harry are asleep on the floor, Harry’s entire body covering Louis like a duvet to the point where Liam is surprised they can even breathe. Why the fuck they didn’t go back to their own room and sleep comfortably is beyond him. Zayn is nowhere to be found, though, which makes Liam furrow his brows. It’s not like Zayn to pull a randomer, but he supposes it could do him some good.

 

He scrabbles back under the duvet and curls it around himself, sliding his hand under the pillow to adjust it. His hand finds a piece of paper and he tugs it out curiously, confused at how that got there (it’s not like him or Niall read, like, ever).

 

He unfolds it carefully and nearly throws up as his eyes scan across what’s written on it.

 

**Certificate of Marriage**

 

**_This certifies that Liam James Payne and Zayn Javaad Malik were united in Holy Matrimony on this, the 26th day of May, 2018. Witnesses: Niall James Horan and Louis William Tomlinson. Approved by County Clark, Nevada._ **

 

“Niall. _Niall!_ ” Liam hisses, reaching back out and shaking him by the shoulder. “Niall!”

 

“I thought I told you to fuck off,” Niall says into the pillow. Liam shakes him harder and he eventually turns over reluctantly, glaring at him. “What the fuck do you want?”

 

“Is this real?” Liam asks, voice trembling as he thrusts the document into Niall’s face. “Tell me this is a fucking prank.”

 

Niall’s eyes scan over it sleepily and then grow wide as they register what he’s reading. He blinks a few times before rolling over and sitting up, taking the paper in his hands and reading it over again.

 

“Fuck, Payno,” he whispers. “That’s an official fucking seal at the bottom. This looks fucking genuine.”

 

“You’re fucking with me,” Liam says, trying to laugh through the knot in his throat. “This is from the gift shop or something.”

 

“Wake those two,” Niall says, pointing at the heap on the floor that is their two best mates. “They’ve got one of these, they’ll know.”

 

Liam throws a pillow at them, smacking Harry’s head. Harry jerks and head-butts Louis, who swears and shoves him off onto the floor with a stream of curses.

 

“What the fuck?” Harry snaps, propping himself up on his elbows indignantly.

 

“Payno got married,” Niall says dumbly. There’s a pregnant pause and then Louis scrabbles to sit up.

 

“Shit,” he whispers, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Shit, he fucking did, didn’t he?”

 

“The fuck…? This isn’t funny,” Liam says angrily, glaring at the pair. “If you think this is funny you need to stop now because it’s not.”

 

“Woah, calm down,” Harry says slowly, wrapping an arm around Louis defensively. “Lou, can you actually remember it?”

 

“I think so,” Louis says. “Unless I just had a dream that you two got married coincidentally. Have you got, like, the certificate thingy? Also, where’s Zayn?”

 

Liam hands the certificate over with shaking hands as Niall shrugs. “Don’t know. He hasn’t come back yet.”

 

“Well, at least we can be pretty sure you didn’t consummate it,” Harry says, reaching out to take the piece of paper. He squints at it sleepily, fingers tracing across the official seal at the bottom before he hands it over to Louis.

 

“Shit,” Louis says again, eyes darting across the page as he reads it hurriedly. “Okay, so, don’t get mad, Li, but, like, obviously it’s not the same as mine and Haz’s because ours says London but this looks a lot like how a marriage certificate looks. Like, it looks legit.”

 

“You’re all still fucking with me,” Liam says, voice wobbling as he tries for a laugh. “Zayn’s going to appear in a wedding dress in a few minutes then we’ll all have a good laugh then go get breakfast, yeah?”

 

Niall claps him on the shoulder and shakes his head sadly. “Dude. I wish we were fucking with you. Please don’t cry, mate.”

 

“I’m not going to cry!” Liam spits. “It’s just, if this is real then I’m absolutely fucked because you’d forgotten, Niall, we’re here on my stag weekend for when I get married in three weeks. To someone who isn’t Zayn, okay? I don’t _want_ to be married to Zayn.”

 

There’s a crash as the door suddenly swings open and Zayn stumbles in, looking very much worse for wear. “What a lovely sentence to come back to,” he groans, flipping Liam the finger weakly.

 

Liam’s head snaps up and he watches as Zayn flops face down onto the empty bed that Harry and Louis didn’t quite make it to.

 

“Zayn, mate,” Harry says slowly, sitting up and crossing his legs. “Where have you been?”

 

There’s a pause. “Honestly?” Zayn asks, voice muffled as he rolls over gingerly. “I have no idea. I think I was just wandering the halls after you four wankers ditched me.” He props himself up on his elbows, staring confusedly at their blank faces. “Why, what’s happened?”

 

“Brace yourselves,” Niall mutters.

 

Liam gulps. “Zayn, I… I don’t know how to tell you this but we’re, er, we kind of… oh, fucking hell, Zayn.”

 

“Liam, what’s happened?” Zayn says again, eyes searching over his face.

 

“Zayn, we got fucking married,” Liam whispers, pointing to the piece of paper in Louis’ hands.

 

All the colour drains from Zayn’s face.

 

“W-w-what?” he stammers. He turns from Liam to look at Harry desperately and Harry just nods his head sadly, scrubbing a hand across his face. “What… I _…how_?”

 

“We all got too drunk, clearly,” Liam says sadly, head in his hands. “I’m just…”

 

“N-n-n-no, this is g-gonna be fine,” Zayn says quickly, taking a deep breath and sitting up. “We clearly didn’t, like, consummate it or whatever so we can just get an annulment, yeah? Easy peasy.”

 

“Zayn,” Harry starts to say, but Zayn waves him off.

 

“Yeah?” he says again, looking at Liam urgently. “We’ll get dressed and we’ll, I don’t know… Niall, google how to get an annulment, yeah?”

 

Niall nods, digging around under his pillow for his phone. Harry takes the marriage certificate off Louis and hands it back to Liam before pulling Louis into his lap, hooking his chin over his shoulder.

 

“Says we need to go back to the registry office,” Niall says after a few minutes of searching. “Doesn’t open until ten though and it’s only ten past nine now. Breakfast then we head down there?”

 

They all snort because even though it’s suddenly awkward between the five of them in a way it’s never been before, at least Niall’s still got the same attitude. They all shuffle nervously around before Louis clears his throat.

 

“I guess me and Haz will go back to our room and meet you in, like, twenty minutes then?”

 

Liam nods, clapping Louis on the shoulder as he and Harry leave hand in hand. Liam turns to give Zayn an apologetic hug but Zayn pushes past him and slams the door to the ensuite. Liam hears the shower turn on and he turns to Niall with furrowed brows.

 

“What’s wrong with him?”

 

Niall looks uncomfortable. “Well, forgive me if I’m leaping to conclusions but it seems like a pretty big deal to hear you accidentally married your best mate on his stag weekend, you know?”

 

“Yeah, but…” Liam shakes his head and lets out a long breath, trying to shake the feeling that he’s really hurt Zayn somehow by doing this. “Whatever, I suppose you’re right. Let’s just get ready for some food, yeah? I really need a cup of coffee.”

 

“Same,” Niall says, rubbing his eyes before he shuffles out from under the duvet. “Preferably an Irish one and all.”

 

Liam snorts. “Don’t think I can face anything alcoholic at this point in time, to be fair.”

 

“I definitely need something alcoholic if I’m going to watch my two best mates divorce,” Niall says, yanking a top over his head.

 

“We’re not actually married,” Liam says, with slightly more force than intended. “It was an accident. Obviously I wouldn’t ever get married to Zayn if I was sober, that’s fucking ridiculous.”

 

The bathroom door opens suddenly and Zayn stands there in nothing but a towel, bottom lip trapped between his teeth. Liam opens his mouth to say something but Zayn holds up his hand, shaking his head. “You don’t need to be a dick about it, Liam. This isn’t exactly how I envisioned my first marriage going either.”

 

Liam groans. “Yeah, but I need you to get some perspective, Zayn. I’m kind of freaking out because even if we get an annulment, what if it affects my actual church wedding that’s happening in three weeks? You know, the one I’ve spent a shit-tonne of money on with my actual fiancée?”

 

“Liam, I get it, I do,” Zayn snaps, tugging on a pair of boxers on under his towel. “Still doesn’t mean it’s any easier for me.” He sighs. “Let’s just go get breakfast, yeah?”

 

“Fucking hell,” Niall mutters under his breath.

 

There’s a stony silence between the three of them as they head down to Harry and Louis’ room. Zayn hammers on the door and Harry opens it, face softening when he sees Zayn’s set jaw and narrow eyes.

 

“Are we ready?” he asks in a voice that’s uncharacteristically high. Louis comes up behind him and squeezes his hip lightly, tugging the door closed behind them.

 

Harry hangs back and drops an arm over Zayn’s shoulders while the other three walk in front. “Hey,” Louis asks Liam softly, squeezing his shoulder. “How you holding up?”

 

“Shit,” Liam says angrily. “Zayn is acting like it’s just as big of a deal for him as it is for me and he doesn’t seem to fucking understand…”

 

“Liam,” Niall snaps. “It’s shit for both of you. Don’t be a petty fuck, it doesn’t suit you. But it’s getting sorted, yeah?”

 

Liam sighs. “Yeah, I know but…”

 

“Liam.”

 

“Fine,” Liam hisses. Louis squeezes his arm gently.

 

“Li, chill out. Niall’s right, there’s no point in getting cross at Zayn. You both signed up for this, even if you were pissed as anything. It’s shit for both of you, don’t make out you have it harder when once this is annulled it won’t matter, okay?”

 

“Okay, okay,” Liam finally agrees, shrugging Louis off him and crossing his arms.

 

Breakfast is almost painful. Only Niall and Louis end up ordering food (Harry steals off Louis’ plate) and Liam and Zayn end up sitting on opposite ends of the table, both aggressively sipping coffee. Niall tries to make conversation but it’s stilted and eventually they all just resign themselves not to talk.

 

They’re just getting up to leave when two young girls approach their table, eyes wide with apparent nerves. “Excuse me, are you H-Harry Styles?”

 

Harry’s expression turns from tight to his usual blinding grin. “Yes, I am! How are you two?”

 

“Oh my god, we’re such big fans,” one of them squeals, hands clutching a copy of Harry’s album to her chest. “Can I have your autograph please?”

 

“Of course,” Harry says brightly, standing up. “Who should I make this out to?”

 

“Megan, I’m Mega- oh god, you’re with Niall too!” one of them squeals. “Can we have a photo? Of you and Harry together, please?”

 

“And Louis,” the other one pipes up quickly. “You guys are, like, our favourite couple ever.”

 

“Well, aren’t you sweet?” Louis grins, wiping his face on a napkin and standing up to join the line. Niall gestures at Zayn who stands up too, taking the girls’ phones and snapping several photos of them on each.

 

Liam drains his mug and pushes his chair back. He goes to stand next to Zayn, who gives the girls a small smile as he hands their phones over. Harry then turns his back to the two as he signs their girls’ albums and phone cases and Liam takes this opportunity to squeeze Zayn’s shoulder and look at him for the first time since their little argument.

 

“Zayn, I’m sorry,” he murmurs. Zayn freezes but then nods.

 

“I’m sorry too. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be in your position right now.”

 

Liam shrugs and gives him a small smile. “Pretty shit, if I’m honest. I don’t know whether to call her or not.”

 

“I wouldn’t until we know the situation with the annulment, mate,” Niall interrupts, grabbing the last piece of croissant off his plate and shoving it in his mouth. “Don’t want to give her extra shit to freak out about before her inevitable freak out when you get home.”

 

“Oh fucking hell,” Liam moans, resting his forehead on Zayn’s shoulder. “I’ve changed my mind, let’s stay married and I’ll never go home.”

 

He isn’t sure if he imagines Zayn’s breath hitching but then Louis and Harry traipse back over to them hand in hand, beaming as they see Liam and Zayn are speaking again.

 

“Ready?”

 

Liam nods, hand dropping from Zayn’s shoulder as he follows Louis and Harry towards the entrance of the hotel. The five of them pile into a cab and Liam rests his head on Zayn’s shoulder. It’s the kind of thing they’d do anyway but for some reason Zayn goes rigid before he sighs and runs his hand over Liam’s stubbly cheek.

 

The journey isn’t long so Liam barely has time to get his thoughts together before they’re pulling up outside the registry office. They hop out and Niall gives the back of his neck a reassuring squeeze before they all traipse inside. Liam’s hands are trembling as he digs inside his pockets for the certificate.

 

Zayn steps ahead of him, heading up to the front desk and clearing his throat. “Hi there, um, I’d like to get, um, an annulment?”

 

The bloke behind the desk looks bored as he reaches under the desk for a form. “Where’s your accidental spouse then?” he drawls, clipping the form into a clipboard.

 

Liam steps forward, raising his hand sheepishly. “Er, hi.”

 

The receptionist cringes. “Two guys?”

 

“Yes,” Liam says, affronted. “Is that a problem?”

 

“Well, not to me but in the eyes of the law, yes,” the guy says. “I’m sorry but we can’t offer annulments to same sex couples yet.”

 

“Excuse me?” Zayn asks, eyes wide.

 

“Yeah, well, see, the law allowing same sex marriage is fairly recent, yeah? So it’s still being finalised but they passed the preliminary bill so couples who, you know, wanted to could get married as soon as possible. But the annulment part of the law hasn’t fully been finalised yet, I’m afraid.”

 

“Are you fucking serious?” Liam shouts, slamming his hand on the desk. “So what the fuck can we do?”

 

“Liam, chill,” Niall says. Liam whips round, glaring.

 

“How the fuck am I meant to chill when I can’t get a fucking annulment?” Liam hisses. Zayn clears his throat again.

 

“So what are our options?” he asks, his voice quivering slightly.

 

“Well, you either stay married or you get a divorce, I’m afraid,” the receptionist says, looking genuinely terrified. Louis drops Harry’s hand and ends up leading Liam away, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and probably telling him to calm down. Zayn pinches the bridge of his nose.

 

“Do we need to file for a divorce here or can we do it when we get back to England?”

 

“Yeah, sure, in fact it’s probably better to do it over there. You need to apply to your county court, I believe; where do you guys live?”

 

“London,” Zayn says forlornly. The receptionist pulls a face.

 

“That’s fine, it’ll go through but it might take a while. Usually it takes three to four months to pro…”

 

“Three to four months?” Niall interrupts, eyes wide with panic. Liam’s head snaps up from where it was resting on Louis’ shoulder.

 

“Oh, no, no, no, no; I’m getting married in three weeks, I need this before then,” he near yells.

 

“I’m sorry, sir,” the receptionist tells him. “There are companies that might be able to do it faster but with most divorces you’re looking at three, four months minimum.”

 

“This can’t be happening,” Liam growls. “Tell me this isn’t fucking happening!”

 

“Liam,” Louis says forcefully, his grip around his middle tightening. “Liam, breathe.”

 

“Oh fuck, oh shit,” Liam whimpers. “I’m so fucked, what the fuck do I do?”

 

“Come outside with me, yeah? Get some fresh air cos you need to breathe, babe,” Louis encourages, leading Liam towards the exit with a fleeting look at the other three.

 

“I’m sorry about him,” Harry says hurriedly to the receptionist. “He’s meant to be getting married in three weeks.”

 

“Oh wow,” the receptionist says, running a hand through his hair. “Tough break. How drunk were you guys?”

 

“Lord knows,” Niall answers, pulling a completely dejected looking Zayn into his arms. “Thank you for your time, anyway.”

 

“Here, if you give me your email address I’ll sort out everything you need to get the speediest divorce possible for when you return home, okay?”

 

“Thank you,” Zayn mumbles as Harry scrawls it out on the piece of paper offered to him. “Thank you and I’m sorry about my, um, my husband, I guess.”

 

“He’s cute, you could have done a lot worse,” the receptionist smiles and Zayn groans into Niall’s shoulder. Niall snorts.

 

“Thanks again!” Harry tells him. Niall and Zayn break apart and the three of them head towards the door where they find Liam leaning against the wall, breathing heavily like he’s trying not to cry while Louis stands kind of awkwardly at his side.

 

“Okay, so they’re going to email Zayn the right websites and the places to go in London and stuff so we shouldn’t have to worry too much,” Harry says. Liam’s head snaps up with such a menacing glare that Niall and Zayn actually take a step back.

 

“Don’t you fucking dare tell me not to worry too much when I’ve got to go home and cancel my fucking wedding, Harry,” he spits. “This is fucking bullshit and I’ve got to call my fiancée and tell her I can’t marry her while you play all happy fucking families next to me and act like everything will just be okay!”

 

“Hey,” says Louis loudly. “Don’t you talk to him like that. He’s trying to help you, Liam. We all are. Don’t take it out on us just because things haven’t quite worked out how they were meant to.”

 

“Fuck you,” Liam hisses. “Fuck all of you. None of you know how this feels, none of you can fucking tell me I’m overreacting…”

 

“We aren’t saying you’re overreacting, Li,” Zayn says carefully. “It’s just, taking it out on all of us isn’t going to help when we only want to help. I’m in this too, yeah? I get it.”

 

“Stop acting like it’s just as bad for you!” Liam yells. “You’re not fucking getting married to the love of your life in three weeks, are you?”

 

“Well, neither are you anymore!” Zayn shouts back.

 

Liam flinches like Zayn’s just punched him in the face. “Fuck you straight to hell,” he finally says, shoving past them and taking off down the road at a run.

 

“Liam!” Louis yells after him. “Oh my god, fuck.”

 

Harry pulls Louis into his side and rubs at his eyes frustratedly. Zayn stays frozen in place, staring at the wall before dropping his head in his hands. “Shit.”

 

“Shall we go back to the hotel?” Niall says, pulling Zayn back into a hug. “Or do we hang around and see if he comes back?”

 

“He won’t come back,” Zayn huffs, turning around to bury his face in Niall’s neck properly. “I think we all know him well enough to know that.”

 

“Fucking hell,” Louis swears, knocking his head against Harry’s shoulder. “Come on, guys, we all know him well enough to know that he’s going to need space for a good few hours and he’s going to need a big fucking cuddle when he gets back. He just needs some time.”

 

“Oh, why the fuck did this have to happen?” Zayn snuffles into Niall’s t-shirt. “Why me? Why couldn’t he marry one of you instead?”

 

Three wedding rings get waved in his face.

 

“Oh, fuck you all,” Zayn snaps, pulling back and running a hand through his hair. “Okay, can we go back to the hotel please?”

 

Harry nods, waving his hand out to flag down a cab. The four of them scrabble inside and sit in silence until Zayn’s phone starts ringing in his pocket. He digs it out and groans when he sees the name flash across the screen.

 

“It’s Sophia, what the fuck do I do?” he asks frantically.

 

“Well, answer it!” Louis says.

 

“Hiya!” Zayn chirps into the mouthpiece in a faux-cheery voice.

 

“Hi, Zayn,” Sophia greets. “Are you boys all okay?”

 

“Y-yeah, yeah, we’re great! How are you?”

 

“Good, thank you,” she replies. “I was just wondering if you’re with Liam. Only he’s not answering my texts or anything.”

 

“I’m… not, actually. I, er, I’m in a cab back from another hotel, ended up going back with someone,” he flounders. Louis beams, shooting him a thumbs up.

 

“You sly dog!” Sophia says brightly. “Good on you, Zayn!”

 

“Er, thank you?”

 

“Anyway, I’ll try Niall or something. Thanks, Zayn!”

 

“No problem,” Zayn stammers. “Er, bye?”

 

“Bye, babe!”

 

Zayn locks his phone and looks round at the rest of them. “She’s going to try you next, what do we do?”

 

“I don’t even have my phone with me,” Niall shrugs. Harry and Louis both flip theirs onto Do Not Disturb mode and Zayn sighs, feeling sick with guilt as he stares out the window.

 

When they get back to the hotel, Harry and Louis go into their own room with the promise that they’ll meet again for lunch after they’ve all napped and calmed down a little bit. Zayn traipses down the hallway after Niall and follows him into their room, flopping face first onto the unmade bed.

 

“Hey,” Niall says, sitting down next to him on the mattress. “Are you okay? Like, I know Liam said some shit about it not being as big a deal for you, which is true to an extent but, like, I know this can’t be easy.”

 

“What do you mean? There’s nothing I love more than hearing Liam of all people say he’d never marry me sober in a million years.”

 

“Zayn, he’s just stressed, he didn’t mean that…” Niall starts.

 

“He did,” Zayn scoffs. “Sophia’s the love of his life, remember?”

 

“Okay, he did say that but…”

 

“Niall, please,” Zayn pleads, turning his head so he’s facing him. “Please don’t. This is hard enough as it is without the fake reassurances.”

 

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Niall says, stroking over his head. “If it’s any consolation, I think he…”

 

“Niall.”

 

“Alright, alright.” Niall sighs, planting a kiss on top of Zayn’s head. “Do you want to sleep or?”

 

“I don’t know,” Zayn moans, burrowing himself deeper into the bed. “I want to wake up from this fucking horrible dream I’m having where on the one hand I’ve gotten married to the man I’m completely gone for but he doesn’t love me or want me and keeps on about how in love with his fiancée he is. Oh, wait.”

 

“Zayn, mate,” Niall says, swallowing thickly. “Okay, so I don’t want to, like, give you some kind of false hope or anything but, like, even in my drunkest states I’m only ever thinking of Jade. Like I’d never, ever in a million years do anything with someone that wasn’t her when I’m pissed, no matter how twatted I was, yeah? And Liam went the whole fucking hog here and married someone else, didn’t he? So, just, maybe…”

 

“Niall, stop,” Zayn says firmly. “I can’t fucking remember any of it and quite frankly I don’t want to try. He got drunk and did something stupid, doesn’t mean he’s harbouring some kind of hidden love for me under it all.”

 

“Neither can I, Zayn, but can you just…”

 

“Can you just,” Zayn interrupts, “give me a fucking cuddle and shut up about hidden love?”

 

“Yeah, course, yeah,” Niall says, kicking off his shoes and engulfing Zayn in a hug. “Sorry.”

 

“Not your fault,” Zayn snuffles, snuggling into Niall’s familiar embrace. “It’s just shit.”

 

“It’ll work out,” Niall promises, smoothing down his hair. “There’s not a lot we can do right now anyway. Have a sulk, have a cry if you need to but ultimately we’re in Vegas for another three days so we might as well at least try to make the most of them, you know?”

 

“Yeah,” Zayn mumbles. “Yeah, alright. Think I will sleep for a bit, you mind?”

 

“Be my guest,” Niall says, ruffling his hair fondly before pulling himself out of his arms and heading back over to his bed. “Do you mind if I skype Jade if I put headphones in?”

 

“No, no, you go ahead… wait, what time is it over there?”

 

“Like half six in the morning?” Niall says, glancing at his watch. “She’s working an eight ‘til four shift though, why?”

 

“Just thinking because Sophia rang me like an hour ago, meaning she was awake at half five English time waiting for Liam to call.”

 

“Wow,” Niall whistles as he opens up his MacBook. “I don’t even know what to make of that.”

 

“Me neither,” Zayn says. “Anyway, their business, not mine.”

 

“Do you think Liam’s spoken to her yet?”

 

“Fuck knows,” Zayn says, sliding under the duvet properly. “Wouldn’t surprise me if he’s avoiding her. You know he’s not good with confrontation.”

 

“True,” Niall sighs, typing in his password. “Anyway, I’ll leave you to nap.”

 

“Send Jade my love, try to be quiet if you wank off,” Zayn yawns, rolling over to stare at the wall.

 

He drops off to sleep easily enough, blocking out Niall’s chatter with Jade as he drifts off. He’s always prided himself in being able to sleep through anything.

 

He’s vaguely aware of Niall shaking at his shoulder after a while, murmuring in his ear about going for food with Harry and Louis. He shakes him off and Niall shrugs and wanders out, flicking the main light off to let Zayn sleep some more.

 

It feels barely a minute later when he’s being shaken awake again, but this time the hand is bigger and painfully familiar.

 

“Zayn?” Liam’s voice hiccups from behind him. Zayn rolls over, groaning dopily. Liam is standing next to his bed, card key clutched in one hand and an almost empty bottle of Jim Beam in the other. “Zayn, ‘m sad.”

 

“Oh, Li,” Zayn says, shuffling up hurriedly and letting Liam curl up under his arm, snuffling weakly. He smells of sweat and bourbon and Zayn loves him so much his heart hurts.

 

“I didn’t mean to shout,” Liam says forlornly, looking up at Zayn through wide, sad eyes. “I don’t want you to be mad at me. I’m really sorry.”

 

“Li, no, come on, you had every right to shout at me, I was a dick,” Zayn tells him, running a hand gently up his back. “I’m sorry I made you feel worse.”

 

“I feel horrible,” Liam moans, burying his face into Zayn’s chest as tears start to spill. “Like I love Sophia so much, Zayn, I do, and I need to marry her because sometimes I think she’s forgotten that I love her.”

 

Zayn tries to pretend that that sentence didn’t break his heart and just keeps his hand running up and down Liam’s back. “Have you spoken to her?”

 

“No,” Liam mumbles. “’m too scared. What do I tell her?”

 

“The truth would be a start,” Zayn says with a small smile. “Although you probably shouldn’t tell her over the phone. But you need to call her and tell her you’re safe because she’s been asking for you. She’s phoned both me and Ni several times.”

 

“Oh, bollocks,” Liam grumbles, fishing around in his pocket for his phone. He yanks it out and clumsily types in his password in, scrolling through his contacts until he finds Sophia’s name. He presses the Call button and adjusts himself comfortably into Zayn’s side.

 

“Sophia? Baby?” he hiccups down the phone. “I miss you, I’m sorry, love, I’m sorry; and I love you, baby, I love you…”

 

“Oh bloody hell,” Zayn groans, plucking the phone easily out of Liam’s hand. “Sophia?”

 

“Zayn, is that you?” Sophia’s worried voice asks. “Is he alright?”

 

“He’s fine, just pissed,” Zayn sighs, gently nudging Liam off him. “I came back and the four of them were at the casino hitting the cocktails.”

 

He hears Sophia groan. “Is that why the fucker’s been ignoring my calls?”

 

“Yep,” Zayn says, nodding frantically even though she can’t see him. “I’ve brought him back up to the room and I’m going to put him to bed. He’ll be fine.”

 

“I love you!” Liam slurs, trying to grab the phone. “Sophia, I…”

 

“Do you want to talk to him?” Zayn asks, cutting Liam off by putting a hand over his mouth.

 

“I can’t really, I’m at work,” Sophia answers shortly. “Just tell him to ring me when he’s sober, please.”

 

“Sure, sure,” Zayn says, pressing a finger into his other ear to drown out Liam’s whimpering. “I’ll tell him.”

 

“Thanks, Zayn,” Sophia answers. “Talk to you later, yeah?”

 

“Yeah, will do. Bye!”

 

She hangs up without another word and Zayn sighs, tossing the phone onto Niall’s unmade bed. Liam is looking up at him expectantly with big, sad eyes and Zayn gently ruffles his fringe. “She’s at work, she said you should ring when you’re sober.”

 

“She doesn’t love me,” Liam says sadly. “She doesn’t love me, Zayn.”

 

“Now we both know that’s not true,” Zayn says. He gently tugs the empty bottle out of Liam’s hand and puts it on the bedside table. “Sleep it off, Li. We can work out when you’re alive enough.”

 

“You’re my best friend, Zayn,” Liam mumbles. “You’ll help me make Sophia love me again, won’t you?”

 

“Li, why don’t you think she loves you?” Zayn asks, brows furrowed. “She agreed to marry you, didn’t she?”

 

“She doesn’t love me,” Liam just says again, though it comes out more as a whimper. “Zayn…”

 

“Get some sleep, Li. You’ve just worn your emotions out. It’s been a fucking strange day.”

 

“Don’t go,” Liam says weakly, reaching out blindly for Zayn’s hand, his face buried in the pillow.

 

“I’m staying, Li,” Zayn says softly, gently tucking the duvet over Liam’s exhausted body. “Just sleep it off, yeah?”

 

Liam clutches at Zayn’s hand almost painfully, his grip weakening slowly as his breathing evens out and his eyes flutter shut. He feels completely exhausted and wide awake all at once so once he’s sure Liam is completely asleep he strokes his cheek gently before pocketing his card key and heading down out to find the boys.

 

He knocks on Harry and Louis’ door cautiously and after a few seconds Niall answers.

 

“Oh, Zayn,” he says, moving so Zayn can get into the room and flop down onto the bed next to Harry. “Thought you might be Payno.”

 

“He’s asleep,” Zayn says into the pillow. “He came back pissed off his fucking face and kept babbling about how Sophia doesn’t love him.”

 

“What?” Louis asks incredulously from Harry’s other side. He shuffles up and leans over to glare at Zayn. “What did you say to him?”

 

“Nothing!” Zayn insists, letting Harry wind an arm around his back and resting his head on his shoulder. “He was absolutely smashed, right? He’d, like, just put himself through a whole bottle of straight bourbon. You know what he’s like drunk, all maudlin and shit.”

 

“Sophia does love him though,” Niall says from where he’s sprawled himself out on the fluffy hotel rug. “She tells Jade everything and Jade tells me everything. She hasn’t said anything, I promise.”

 

“Can’t be easy keeping secrets in a group as close as ours though,” Harry says. “Would she risk voicing it if it would get back to Liam?”

 

“She’s agreed to marry him though,” Louis says angrily. “She wouldn’t agree to marry someone she didn’t love. I’ve known her since secondary school and she’s too stubborn to pull a stunt like that.”

 

“That’s what I said,” Zayn exclaims. “He’s just an emotional drunk, that’s all.”

 

“And how are you holding up?” Harry asks, squeezing his shoulder lightly. Zayn glares up at him.

 

“Does it matter?”

 

“Yes,” Harry says emphatically. “You’ve been my best mate since Year Seven, Zayn, of course it fucking matters.”

 

“Pretty shit,” he ends up mumbling. Harry’s hand strokes through the back of his hair and Louis’ hand cups his cheek reassuringly. If it was anyone but Harry he’d probably have swatted them away by now but he’s so grateful to have a friend like him and the fact that his husband is also his crush’s best childhood friend and also sympathetic is at least a little bit of a comfort. He scrubs across his face. “I just… I never saw myself actually wanting to get a divorce from Liam.”

 

“None of us ever saw you marrying Liam like this, mate,” Niall says. Louis throws his shoe at him.

 

“I’m still confused at how the fuck any of us actually let this happen,” Harry muses, hand still firm in Zayn’s hair. “I mean, I certainly wouldn’t have.”

 

“Maybe that’s why you’re not a witness,” Niall questions. “Too busy off being the boring, sensible one.”

 

Harry flips him off while Louis hurls his other shoe. “Fuck off, Ni. Boring and sensible seems worth it to not watch my mate’s heart get broken.”

 

“It happened anyway,” Niall mumbles angrily, rubbing his forehead where the shoe hit.

 

“Oh for god’s sake, Niall,” Louis snaps, looking around for something else to throw.

 

“Can we all just stop throwing things at Niall and give me a goddamn cuddle?” Zayn whines. Niall immediately scrabbles up to curl into his other side and Louis climbs into Harry’s lap so they can all hug him properly.

 

He might have royally fucked up, Zayn thinks, but at least he has the bestest friends in the world.

 

*

 

Liam is jetlagged, achy, starving and dehydrated but he’s also never been more terrified in his life as he walks up the front path to his house.

 

It’s late, later than they’d expected to get back to London and Liam just wants a fucking takeaway and a cold beer but first of all he’s got to tell his fiancée and partner of nine years that he accidentally married someone else. So, yeah, there’s that.

 

He sighs as he lugs his bags up onto the front step, digging around for his keys. He lets himself in and lets the door click behind him, dumping his bags behind him.

 

“Soph?” he calls. There’s silence for a second then Sophia’s clipping down the stairs in a pair of Liam’s trackies and a white crop top. He smiles when he sees her and opens his arms but she shakes her head.

 

“I’ve been working out, you don’t want to hug me,” she says, pulling a face before smiling. “Did you have a good flight?”

 

He nods, coughing awkwardly when she offers nothing else to continue the conversation with. He looks at her expectantly before she disappears into the kitchen, getting a glass from the cupboard and filling it from the tap.

 

“I’ve been thinking, Li, and…”

 

“Sophia, I need to tell you something,” he interrupts. Her eyes widen and she sets the glass down on the counter, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

 

“What?” she says, her voice laced with anger already. “That’s not a good _I need to tell you something_ , is it?”

 

Liam shakes his head, bowing it because he doesn’t want to see her face right now.

 

“I knew you’d fucking done something,” she says after a pregnant pause. “You called me twice in five fucking days, Liam. You’re so full of shit. So come on then, tell me. Who did you sleep with?”

 

“Sleep with?” Liam asks incredulously, head snapping up. “Soph, I’d never…”

 

“Don’t Soph me, you arse,” she snaps. “You look guilty as hell. What did you do then?”

 

“I kind of, well, the thing is…” Liam stammers out, unable to actually form a sentence. He’s never been more terrified in his life as his five foot five girlfriend crowds him angrily against the sink, breath coming out in short angry bursts.

 

“Okay, there is no easy way to say this,” he manages to get out, rubbing at his eyes with his fists. “But I kind of accidentally got married to Zayn when we were very, very drunk.”

 

Sophia just stares at him.

 

“We were so drunk, _so_ drunk, babe and I can’t remember doing it or how it even came about or why I ever thought…”

 

“Don’t you,” Sophia interrupts, her voice dangerously low, “fucking _ever_ call me babe again. You absolute piece of shit.” She steps back, burying her face in her hands, breathing heavily. “So, what, you’re married to someone else? Not just to someone else though, is it, it’s Zayn.”

 

“We tried to get an annulment, I promise,” Liam says pleadingly, reaching forward to touch her before thinking better of it. “But the laws over there are still in the works with same sex marriage so we couldn’t. We need to get a divorce.”

 

“Fuck,” Sophia yells, slamming a fist against the fridge. “Fucking _hell_ , Liam, you got married to someone else? To someone else?! To fucking Zayn of all people?!”

 

“I didn’t mean to!” Liam pleads. “I know that doesn’t make sense because obviously I needed to give consent or whatever but it means nothing!”

 

Sophia lets out some sort of hysterical snarl, bracing herself against the counter. “You married Zayn and it means nothing. Zayn of all people. Fucking Zayn! Fuck, Liam, you have no idea… if it was anyone but Zayn maybe but it isn’t, is it? It’s fucking Zayn!”

 

“What are you talking about?” Liam shouts back. “I went with three married people and a single, if I was going to get married to any of them it would be the single!”

 

“Don’t you dare try and justify this!” Sophia screeches. “Do you know how much fucking time and money we have put into this wedding? For you to get drunk off your arse and marry Zayn?”

 

“Look, we don’t have to tell people,” Liam pleads. “We can postpone it or…”

 

“You really think I still want to marry you after you got married to your best friend who fucking lov…” Sophia cuts herself off, slamming her hand on the counter again and letting out a frustrated growl instead. “Get out.”

 

There’s a pause. “What?” Liam says dumbly.

 

“I said get out. I don’t want you here right now.”

 

“Sophia, please…”

 

“Liam, _please_ get out,” she says almost mockingly and it’s cruel and it’s so unlike the woman he’s loved for the past nine years. “I don’t want to even look at you. The wedding is off, we’re done.”

 

“Sophia…” he tries again, his voice cracking. She’s almost scarily calm, standing there icily while she rips Liam’s whole life to shreds.

 

“Get. The. Fuck. Out,” she snarls again.

 

Liam hangs his head, knowing he’s well and truly lost this battle because he is so in the wrong. He heads back to the hallway and picks up his suitcases again, giving Sophia one last forlorn look.

 

“Now, Liam,” she says, voice heavy with unshed tears. “I need a few weeks to process this, okay? Come back when I’m at work tomorrow and get your things then so I don’t have to see you.”

 

“Sophia, please,” Liam tries one last time, dropping his bags and going to hold her, hug her, wipe her tears, _anything_ he can to show how much he still cares and how sorry he is, but she slaps him away, wiping her tears on her wrist.

 

“No, no, Liam, fuck off, just fuck off!” she shouts. Liam backs away slowly, opening the door and walking away before he hurts her even more, completely forgetting his bags in the process. He can’t stop the tears that are pouring down his face now, ugly sobs ripping through his body as he just walks and walks and walks, unsure of where he’s even going to go.

 

He walks and ignores the people asking if he’s okay and he doesn’t know how long he’s walked for until he finally registers he’s freezing cold and standing outside Zayn’s front door. He knocks slowly, weakly, repeatedly, another sob ripping through his body as Zayn finally opens the door. He’s dressed in a jumper and a pair of boxers and he doesn’t ask questions, just pulls Liam into his flat and into his arms. He steers him over to the sofa and cuddles him while a fresh batch of tears and sobs comes out of Liam, completely soaking his jumper through with snot and tears and pain and hurt and upset.

 

“She kicked me out,” he manages weakly after what feels like hours of just being held and crying more than he thinks he ever has. “She told me she can’t even look at me.”

 

“Oh, Li,” Zayn breathes out. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

 

“I think it’s over,” Liam whimpers and Zayn’s arms tighten around him. “I think we’ve broken up.”

 

“Li,” Zayn says again, clearly unsure of what to say. “Li, I’m sorry. I know that’s not going to help much but I’m honestly so sorry. If you need a place to stay my spare room is yours. For as long as you need.”

 

“Thanks,” Liam whispers. “I’ll definitely need it for now, if… if that’s okay.”

 

“Yeah, of course it is,” Zayn promises. “Want me to heat you up some food? I just had a curry from Patel’s but I can sort you out the leftovers.”

 

“Yes please,” Liam croaks. “Can I use your shower too? And can I borrow some clothes until tomorrow?”

 

“Of course, babe,” Zayn says, kissing his temple before letting him go. “There’s towels in the airing cupboard. I’ll find you some clothes and put them on your bed then when you’re done I’ll heat up your curry and we can watch a film or something?”

 

“I’d like that,” Liam says quietly, wiping his face on his grotty t-shirt collar. “You’re the best.”

 

“The perfect husband,” Zayn jokes. Liam looks at his feet. “Shit, Liam, that was horrible, I’m sorry, _shit_.”

 

“I mean, you’ve told funnier jokes,” Liam sniffs, sighing. “Um, I’m just going to go for that shower now.” He points weakly towards the bathroom and Zayn nods hurriedly.

 

He grabs a towel from the airing cupboard and locks himself in the bathroom, turning the shower up high and stepping under the spray. He scrubs himself down until his skin feels red raw but at least his joints feel less tense and he doesn’t feel like he’s going to cry anymore.

 

When he emerges in just a towel and pads over to Zayn’s spare room, he finds Zayn has laid out several choices of clothing, along with a fresh packet of boxers, a toothbrush and a can of deodorant. He smiles to himself, secretly grateful that Zayn is actually like a bloody good husband. He can’t remember the last time Sophia did something like this; hell, she wouldn’t even hug when he came back and that was before she even knew.

 

He sprays the deodorant on and pulls out a fresh pair of boxers, dressing himself in the comfiest of the selection before hanging his towel on the back of the door and heading back into the kitchen.

 

“Hey,” Zayn smiles, standing up from where he was sat at his little dining table and going over to the fridge. He pulls out the takeaway boxes and dumps them into a bowl, sticking them in the microwave. “You got everything you need?”

 

“Yeah, thank you,” Liam says, sliding into the chair opposite where Zayn had been sat. “You’re like a little domestic goddess, I love it.”

 

Zayn grins, opening the fridge and pulling out a can of Liam’s favourite beer. He cracks it into a pint glass and hands it over. “I try.”

 

“Can we watch Captain America?” Liam says. Zayn nods, pouring his own drink before grabbing Liam’s dinner out the microwave.

 

Liam curls up on Zayn’s comfy sofa, bowl balanced on a cushion as he eats off his lap. After he’s done, he stands up to slide his bowl and cutlery into the dishwasher and when he gets back he lets Zayn wrap a comforting arm around his shoulder and they watch their film tangled up in a warm little bubble of security.

 

When the film finishes, Liam pulls himself out of Zayn’s grip and clears his throat. “I’m gonna turn in, I’m knackered. Are you at work tomorrow?”

 

“Nah, I’m off until Thursday,” Zayn says. “Gonna be sleeping all day tomorrow. Are you at work?”

 

“No, I’m off until Thursday too.” He coughs nervously. “Um, I’m going to go to mine to get some stuff tomorrow, you know, from, um, Sophia’s, I guess. I guess I no longer live there.”

 

“You know you can move it in here,” Zayn says softly. “That room is yours as long as you want it to be. I’ll get you a key cut next time I’m in town.”

 

“Thank you,” Liam says, ignoring how hard his heart is thumping in his chest. “I mean it, you’re honestly… just thanks, Zed.”

 

“You’d do it for me,” Zayn shrugs. It’s dark but Liam thinks he might be blushing. “Night, Li.”

 

“Night, Zayn,” Liam says, squeezing his shoulder lightly over the sofa as he heads to his room.

 

He shuts the door, shuffles under the covers and is asleep before his head hits the pillow.

 

*

 

It’s been eight weeks since Liam unofficially moved in and Zayn is stressed.

 

Because Liam is living with him and being with him all the time is just making Zayn more endeared, as if he wasn’t already. The way Liam’s eyes crinkle up happily when Zayn compliments his cooking, the way he sits with Zayn while he sketches late into the night, the way it just feels _natural_.

 

Not only that, but Liam has this terribly wonderful habit of getting shirtless now that it’s summer. On top of the going jogging most mornings and coming back sweaty and ripped and beautiful, Zayn is starting to think he may have to move out.

 

Liam goes round to his house and comes back with a load of his things and moves them into his spare room. He sets up pictures to make it more his own and gradually his stuff starts spreading around the flat like it’s his own, which it kind of is. He starts doing the weekly shops and sees what meals Zayn likes to eat, cooking them when Zayn comes home from his longer days.

 

“I need your bank details,” he asks him one day over breakfast. Zayn raises an eyebrow over his bowl of Coco Pops. “I’m not going to rob you, idiot. I need to start paying half the rent.”

 

“Liam, no…” Zayn starts, but Liam holds up his hand.

 

“Just until I work out what I’m doing. It’s only fair.”

 

\--

 

“What the fuck _is_ he doing?” Niall asks over lunch that day when Zayn goes to meet him and Harry in the studio. “So he’s your permanent roommate now or what?”

 

“I don’t even know,” Zayn whines, flicking a piece of lettuce across the table. “Like he’s just there, and he’s not with Sophia anymore and we’re still technically husbands and nothing has changed. But everything has.”

 

“Shit,” Niall says dumbly. “Well maybe you should just seduce him.”

 

Both Zayn and Harry choke on their sandwiches.

 

“What?” they both say incredulously. Niall shrugs.

 

“Get the ball rolling, you know? Make it all sunshine and rainbows and semen in the Malik-Payne household.”

 

“Niall,” Harry huffs exasperatedly as he gives him a clip round the ear. “Liam wouldn’t know seduction if it crawled into his lap and bit him. Besides, he’s acting too much like he’s fine. Louis says he’s been doing this since he was a kid. He’s like a nervous ball of pretend happy energy but one day it’s just going to sink in on itself.”

 

“Fucking fabulous,” Zayn mutters, chucking his crusts back onto his plate. “I am _not_ seducing him, Niall. He is definitely not in the right headspace for another relationship, let alone a relationship with one of his best mates and a bloke on top of that. He’s been with a woman his whole life, he’s probably going to stick with women forever.”

 

“And yet he married a man,” Niall says solemnly, giving Zayn an intense stare. Zayn ignores him and steals his crisps.

 

Sophia and Liam don’t seem to talk anymore and Zayn is grateful because the distance seems to be doing him the world of good. Slowly but surely, Liam is being less reliant on his phone, more reluctant to come home early from nights out and just more like the chilled, happy Liam Zayn had met in university. He thinks he likes this Liam a lot more.

 

Little does he know that Liam is actually not at all calm and starting to freak the fuck out.

 

He spent the first few days of living with Zayn moping, going and collecting some of his stuff and letting Zayn and the other boys dote on him and tell him he was better off without her. He needed to hear it all, really he did but that’s when he started to notice the little things.

 

Like how Harry would always linger back and ask how Zayn was doing. Like how Zayn would hug Harry back tightly and tell him it’s hard but he can do it. Like how Niall would always joke around the two of them being domestic as fuck. Like how Louis wouldn’t stop pointing out where Zayn was shining as subtly as Louis Tomlinson could.

 

“Zayn’s well stocked on your foods,” he’d said three days after Liam’d moved in. “Your beer, your god awful full-fat milk, your god awful favourite flavour of crisps – really, Li, do people even eat ketchup flavoured crisps that aren’t you?”

 

“Hey,” Liam had whined, snatching a bag of crisps up and shoving a mouthful in, “the full-fat milk is good for bulking. And anyway, Zayn probably just wants to shut me up. I’ve cried on him more than is healthy these past few days.”

 

Louis rolls his eyes, taking a swig of orange juice straight from the carton. “You’re allowed, Li. You have just come out of a long term relationship.”

 

But the thing is, Liam isn’t feeling nearly as sad as he’d anticipated. Sure, the initial ripping off of the plaster had stung like a bitch and he’d spent a good forty-eight hours afterwards unable to let himself be alone so had found himself clinging to the lads for a distraction, but now he feels like he’s got a life to live and it’s just the start of a new chapter. He doesn’t know whether he’s happy or sad about it either.

 

That being said, it’s still a shock when he finds himself waking up in a puddle of his own sweat after a particularly vivid sex dream.

 

Involving another bloke.

 

“Shit,” Liam whispers to himself, running a hand through his fringe and breathing out a heavy sigh. His dick is standing to attention painfully between his legs so he grips it, stroking himself lightly and letting his head fall back against the pillow and his eyes droop shut.

 

Until he then starts to picture a bloke’s head buried between his thighs.

 

He tugs himself faster, coming hard after a few minutes. He lets out all the air from his lungs in a frustrated, drawn out sigh before tugging the sweaty t-shirt off himself and wiping his hand on it.

 

 _It’s just been a while,_ he tells himself. _It’s been a while and you’ve just been around the lads lately. It’s not a big deal_

 

Except this dream seems to trigger something in him. He’s always been cautious and never really thought about the fact that there is a chance he isn’t completely straight but now he can’t stop noticing how pretty that dapper man on the tube is or how much he really wants that guy he always sees on his jogs to possibly pin him down and fuck him.

 

Not quite believing he’s having his big, gay epiphany at the age of twenty-five, he tries not to think about it but then there’s a giant thunderstorm and that all goes to shit.

 

He manages to get home from work just before the downpour really starts, but he can hear the thunder crack as he changes out of his suit and into his jeans, watching the lightning light up the June sky as he sticks a chicken pie in the oven.

 

He hears the key turn in the door and then Zayn is stepping into the hallway, shaking out his wet hair with his white t-shirt completely soaked through. Liam nearly drops the oven tray.

 

“Fuck me,” Zayn groans, dropping his sodden backpack to the floor and kicking off his shoes. “It’s hideous out there, man.”

 

“Y-yeah, looks it,” Liam stammers, shaking himself back to reality. He goes back to cooking, making sure he keeps his eyes anywhere but Zayn’s torso.

 

Zayn is clearly oblivious to Liam’s panic because he traipses straight into the kitchen and opens the fridge, grabbing a can of Diet Coke for himself before walking over to where Liam’s chopping vegetables and shaking his hair in Liam’s face. Liam splutters and bats him away, inadvertently putting his hand right on Zayn’s wet abs, which is… not helping.

 

“Smells delish, babe,” Zayn murmurs, stealing a piece of raw carrot. “Can you stick a pie in for me while I go shower, please?”

 

“S-sure,” Liam says, keeping his eyes off Zayn as he peels his sodden shirt off and dumps it straight in the washing machine. “Be about twenty minutes.”

 

“You’re the best!” Zayn calls back. Liam gulps. What the fuck just happened?

 

And now Liam’s mind is in overdrive. He always knew Zayn was bloody attractive – it’s one of the first things you notice about the boy – but he wasn’t ready to start noticing Zayn like this seven years into a friendship.

 

Liam’s never been the most perceptive person either. He’s starting to think if he was he might have noticed his relationship crumbling even before he got married to Zayn. But now he can’t help notice just how touchy-feely Zayn is with him sometimes.

 

How Zayn’s hand will rest on the small of his back when he’s cooking. How Zayn will always go for a cuddle when they’re watching TV together in the evenings. How he almost instinctively does it back without realising. How it’s only like this with him and not the other three.

 

And since that thunderstorm he can’t stop picturing Zayn in ways that he knows he shouldn’t. When they’re curled up together watching TV he sometimes muses how easy it would be to turn his head and press his lips into Zayn’s but he quickly squashes those thoughts down, burying them under the fact that it’s been a really, really long time since he’s had sex and Zayn is attractive, nothing more.

 

And then Sophia calls him.

 

“Liam?” she says as he answers the phone with trembling fingers. They haven’t spoken in eight and a half weeks.

 

“Soph?” he says, every emotion he was surprised he hadn’t felt bubbling to the surface and materialising themselves in his gut. “Um, how are you?”

 

“I’m good, thanks,” she replies and it sounds like she’s smiling. “You?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, really good,” he says, pressing his lips together.

 

There’s a pause before Sophia says “Liam, I miss you.”

 

“I miss you too,” Liam says and he suddenly wants nothing more than to pull her into his arms and kiss her hair and breathe in the familiar, comforting smell of her perfume. “I miss you a lot.”

 

“You never called though,” Sophia says. “I know I shouldn’t have but I did expect phone calls on a near hourly basis.”

 

“The lads wouldn’t let me,” Liam explains. “Said we should aim for a nice clean break.”

 

“They have a point,” Sophia says with a small laugh. “Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to meet up, like, tomorrow. I just want to talk to you because I miss you so much and we really need to fix this.”

 

“God, yes,” Liam says quickly. He’s going to get his girl back.

 

“Good,” Sophia says. “Can we meet at that pub in Brixton? The one that does those roasts that we like but Harry insists he can do better?”

 

“Yeah, ‘course,” Liam says, nodding hurriedly. “What time?”

 

“Two-ish work for you?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Liam says, smiling wider than he has in weeks. “See you then.”

 

“See you then,” she repeats, smile still clear in her voice. They exchange goodbyes and Liam hangs up feeling lighter than he has in weeks.

 

He’s making himself a celebratory cup of tea when the door to the bathroom unlocks and Zayn strolls into the kitchen with a towel wrapped around his waist. “What’s happened to you?” he asks, opening the dryer and pulling out a load of his clothes.

 

Liam’s grin is wide as he turns to face him, not even fazed that he’s shirtless like he would have been in past weeks. “Sophia called. Wants to meet for lunch tomorrow.”

 

“What?” Zayn says loudly, eyes going wide. “Liam, are you sure?”

 

“Yes,” Liam says, affronted. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

“Because you broke up with her?” Zayn says like it’s obvious. “She told you she didn’t want to see you anymore?”

 

“She said that when we were fighting, she didn’t mean ever!” Liam says, frustrated. “There’s a lot of history there, we can’t avoid each other forever.”

 

“Are you going to get back with her?” Zayn asks incredulously.

 

“Maybe,” Liam snaps. “You can’t just fall out of love with someone when they break up with you.”

 

“You still… you still love her,” Zayn says and it doesn’t come out as a question, more as an angry statement. “You still think you love her.”

 

“I know I still love her,” Liam says, crossing his arms angrily. “I was going to marry her, wasn’t I?”

 

“Oh yeah, like that meant shit, Liam,” Zayn hisses. “Look what you got instead.”

 

“Why are you being like this?” Liam asks. “I thought you’d be happy for me!”

 

“Not when she made you so miserable, Liam!”

 

“She didn’t make me miserable,” Liam snaps. “We had our ups and downs but that’s what being in love is.”

 

“Sure it is,” Zayn scoffs. “Do you not remember drunk crying to me in America about how she didn’t love you anymore? Look, Li, you only think you love her.”

 

“What the fuck is it to you anyway?” Liam sneers. “It’s not like you’ve ever been in love to tell me what it feels like.”

 

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong actually,” Zayn shouts back and then his eyes go wide and he claps a hand over his mouth.

 

Liam’s mouth drops open. “What the fuck, Zayn? Have you been hiding someone this whole time?”

 

“No, I…” Zayn’s shaking his head wildly with panic. “No, _fuck_ , forget I said anything.”

 

Liam pauses for a beat and then drops the spoon he’s holding, the realisation and the look on Zayn’s face hitting him like a bullet.

 

“Fuck,” is all he says, letting it clang to the floor. He doesn’t tear his eyes from Zayn, who’s standing there shirtless and clutching an armful of laundry looking very close to tears. “Fuck, I…”

 

“Liam, it’s not like that…” Zayn starts.

 

Liam swallows thickly. “I just… are you… how long… me?” he ends up whispering. Zayn stays completely stock-still.

 

“But it’s not _love_ , I mean…” he trails off, looking at Zayn desperately. Zayn still doesn’t say anything, eyes on the floor like a wounded child.

 

“Are you going to say anything?”

 

Still nothing.

 

“Okay, wow,” Liam shouts, anger suddenly pulsing through him with his need for Zayn to just _say something_. “Fucking hell, I just…” He shoves his phone back in his pocket and storms out the kitchen and out the flat without another word.

 

He finds himself on the tube and then suddenly no longer rushing through the streets of London and he’s outside Louis and Harry’s house. He shoves his finger against the doorbell, letting it trill over and over until a very flustered looking Louis opens the door, eyebrows furrowed.

 

“Jesus, Li, what’s happened?”

 

“I…” Liam pants, shaking his head wildly like he doesn’t know what to do. Louis wraps a hand around his wrist and yanks him inside.

 

“What’s wrong with you?”

 

“I’m so confused,” Liam finally gets out. “I think I…”

 

“Li? Was it you at the door?” Harry asks as he clips down the stairs. “Are you okay?”

 

“No, I’m not,” Liam whines. “I think Zayn might fancy me. Or maybe it’s more than that, I don’t know!”

 

Louis and Harry both freeze.

 

“I know right!” Liam continues, clutching his face in his hands. “This is so bad, this is very, very bad…”

 

“Lou, can I talk to you in the kitchen please?” Harry hisses, cutting Liam off. “Li, stay the fuck there.”

 

He drags Louis down the hallway into their kitchen and slams the door hard, making Liam jump. He hears muffled voices but then eventually they start to get louder so he creeps forward, pressing his ear nervously against the wood.

 

“You fucking _promised_ me, you piece of shit,” Harry is practically shouting. “You’ve been telling me for our whole fucking relationship that he fucking knew and he was going to do something about it.”

 

“Haz, of course I thought he knew,” Louis snaps back. “He fucking told me when we were fifteen years old he thought he might like boys, what am I supposed to say?”

 

“You’re supposed to go out there and make sure your best friend doesn’t break my best friend’s fucking heart,” Harry snarls. “Fucking hell, Louis…”

 

“Do you think I’d lie to you?” Louis asks angrily. “Of course I wouldn’t, and especially not about this. I know Liam better than he knows himself and he’s got feelings for Zayn, he fucking does. We can all see it except that oblivious twat but he’s always been that way. He’s just scared, naturally; come on, Haz, we both knew we were gay when we were younger. Liam was in a relationship with a girl for so long I think he forgot he told me he might like boys.”

 

Liam claps a hand over his mouth, their words hitting him like a freight train. He doesn’t have feelings for Zayn, he _can’t_ have feelings for Zayn; he’s in love with Sophia and he’s going to fix it and it’s going to be fine, isn’t it?

 

He doesn’t even register that Harry and Louis have finished talking because a few moments later the door opens and Louis crashes straight into him.

 

“Liam,” he asks, eyes wide as he steps back. “Liam, did you listen to that?”

 

“You’re both wrong,” he says in a trembling voice, shaking his head wildly. “You’re wrong, I don’t love…”

 

“Liam Payne, you better not finish that sentence,” Harry growls, stepping past Louis and into his space. “Stop being a dense little fuck and look at what’s been right in front of you for nearly ten years, you absolute _arse_!”

 

“Harry,” Louis says warningly, wrapping a hand around his wrist.

 

“No, Lou,” Harry shouts, yanking his arm away. “I’ve held my tongue for years and I’m so fucking sick of it still happening because Liam’s being so thick…”

 

“I am not being thick!” Liam shouts, though his mind is racing with thoughts of Zayn. Does he love Zayn? _Could_ he love Zayn?

 

“Liam, listen,” Louis says, stepping in front of his quivering husband. “I just need you to think back to when we were younger and I told you I was gay, right? What did you say?”

 

“That… that I’d thought about it a lot too and I could be too,” Liam says desperately, hands squeezing at his cheeks in frustration. “But then I met Sophia and that changed…”

 

“No, then you started dating Sophia,” Louis says. “Two different things. You need to really think about this, Liam, because you got together when you were both having a sexuality crisis and then I guess you both got comfortable…”

 

“You know nothing!” Liam spits. “You know nothing… I… Zayn is my best mate, I just…”

 

“You’re wrong, Liam,” Louis says almost pleadingly. “Look, we’ve all seen you over the years, we know you two have feelings for each other. Zayn knows he fancies you but we’ve been waiting for so long for you to notice and we thought this would give you the nudge…”

 

“What would give me the nudge?” Liam asks dangerously.

 

“We didn’t plan for you to get married, I swear,” Louis says. “But we’ve been looking for something that would bring the two of you together like this for so long…”

 

“But don’t fucking kid yourself here, Liam,” Harry cuts in. “You live with Zayn, you’re still married and you haven’t looked any further into that divorce, have you? You’re married, just without the sex, I swear. You’re happier with him than you’ve been with Sophia for a long time, at least.”

 

“You’re wrong,” Liam hisses again, though it’s weaker than last time because he can’t seem to formulate the right words with Harry’s words bouncing off him like this. “You’re wrong, I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go…”

 

“Liam, don’t,” Louis says, stepping forward but Liam’s already gone, hurrying out the door and out their front gate.

 

His mind is all over the place with a million different thoughts. Can you love someone and not realise? Can you not love someone and think you do? He feels sick and tired and confused and he needs a fucking cuddle and somewhere to lay out his panic and his fear.

 

He can’t go back to Harry and Louis’ because he doesn’t want Harry to shout or Louis to fawn. He can’t go to Zayn because, well, that just wouldn’t work. He’s pretty sure Niall’s at work.

 

So he goes to the one person who’s been there for him since he was sixteen.

 

“Liam?” Sophia asks tentatively as she opens the door to their house. She’s dressed in a pair of pyjama bottoms and one of Liam’s old t-shirts with her hair piled on top of her head and she looks beautiful and so achingly familiar that Liam nearly bursts into tears then and there. “Liam, what’s the matter? Come inside, Jesus.”

 

“When you said you’d find it so much easier to deal with if it was anyone but Zayn, what did you mean by that?” he pants.

 

Sophia leans against the doorframe, crossing her arms. “You really don’t know?” she asks. Liam makes a frustrated sound and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Oh god, Liam, just… come inside, yeah?”

 

Liam’s shaking as he takes his familiar seat on his sofa, looks around the living room in the home he was about to set up with Sophia, the girl he’s been with since he was sixteen years old and thought was going to be his forever. Sophia sits down on the armchair across from him, taking her mug of tea from the coffee table and sighing.

 

“Look, Liam,” she starts slowly, bringing her knees up to her chest, “when did we get together?”

 

“2009. Just before we started A-levels,” Liam says, gulping nervously.

 

“And why did we get together, babe?”

 

Liam freezes.

 

He’s buried this part of him for years, for fucking _years_ and now everyone seems fixed on bringing it up. Even Sophia, the girl he thought he was in love with, can see right through him apparently. He swallows thickly, avoiding Sophia’s eyes.

 

“Why did we get together, Li?” she repeats calmly, taking a sip of her tea.

 

“Because… because I was being bullied and I was confused about my sexuality and so were you so we thought it would be easier if we just got together,” Liam says after a moment’s hesitation.

 

“Exactly,” Sophia says. “Look, Liam, I love you, yeah? I’ll always love you but not… not how we thought we loved each other.”

 

“I don’t…”

 

“When you proposed,” Sophia interrupts, “we were just lying in bed, weren’t we? And it was right after Jade and Niall got engaged and you just said maybe it’s time we got married. Like, come on, Liam. We weren’t even speaking to each other, we should have had our doubts from then on.”

 

“I’m still not following,” Liam says forlornly. “What does this have to do with Zayn? Why does everyone know about my so-called feelings for Zayn except me?”

 

Sophia sighs, setting her mug down and going over to the couch to give Liam a hug. “What I’m saying, babe, is that we were together longer than most of our friends, yeah? But when Harry and Louis got engaged it was before us and when Niall and Jade got engaged it was before us and they hadn’t been together anywhere near as long as we had.” She holds him close, pressing her nose into his temple. “What I’m saying is we weren’t getting married because we loved each other. We were getting married because we thought it was the right thing to do.”

 

“But I… I love you,” Liam whimpers, arms wrapping around hers. Sophia shakes her head against his.

 

“Not like you want to, you don’t,” she murmurs. “And I’m guilty of it too, you know. When you were in the States I was so paranoid. And then you came home and dropped the biggest bombshell you could have done on me and I was so angry at you because I was thinking _how the fuck could he do this to me after nine years together?_ and then I called Jade to take me out so we could get royally trashed, right? And she introduced me to some of her friends and I think… I think I’ve met someone else, Liam.”

 

Liam’s head snaps up like he’s been hit in the sternum. “What?”

 

“Liam, we broke up a long time ago,” Sophia says softly. “Maybe not officially but we weren’t properly together for over a year, were we?” She gives him a soft smile. “We’ve just been on a couple of dates but I really like this girl.”

 

“Girl?”

 

“Were you not listening to me a second ago?” Sophia groans with faux-exasperation. “I never had time to explore my sexuality, never let myself. But I like her a lot, Li. It’s early days, but yeah.” She shrugs, smiling shyly.

 

“Oh god, you really do like her, don’t you?” Liam says, finally smiling a little when he sees just how happy she seems already. “What’s her name?”

 

“She’s called Perrie,” Sophia says with a blush. “She’s a nurse like Jade and she’s bubbly and fun and she’s bloody gorgeous…”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Liam grumbles playfully. “Rub it in my face that you’ve found someone, why don’t you.”

 

“Liam, don’t be stupid,” Sophia replies. “You found your soulmate when you were eighteen years old and I’ve spent the last seven years seething about it.”

 

“Wha…?”

 

“You literally light up whenever you’re in the same room as him, Liam,” Sophia rolls her eyes. “You got married to him, for fuck’s sake.”

 

“I was drunk,” Liam insists. Sophia slaps him lightly on the cheek.

 

“Why are you so eager to fight this, Liam? You have someone who you love and who loves you so fucking hard back…”

 

“Why do people keep saying this?” Liam asks frantically. “Zayn can’t be in love with me.”

 

Sophia slaps him again. “And Louis isn’t in love with Harry.”

 

“We’re best mates!” Liam cries. “We’re best mates and I guess he’s probably closer to me than Louis or Niall now, I don’t know, and okay so maybe I’ve thought he was attractive once or twice and maybe I’ve questioned why he’s never brought anyone home or got in a relationship when he’s that bloody gorgeous…”

 

“Because he’s hung up on you, you loser!” Sophia exclaims. “I was so convinced you two were having an affair for so long…”

 

“What?!”

 

“Well, excuse me,” Sophia says, putting both her hands on her hips. “But come on, Liam. The way you two act around each other, the way you always need to be touching, the way that you always talk about how wonderful Zayn is at art or how amazing it is his gallery work so much attention is…”

 

“Forgive me for being proud of my best mate,” Liam scoffs.

 

“It’s _more_ than that though,” Sophia says exasperatedly. “And the thing is, you got drunk and went to get married to him. Not me, _him._ Surely that means something. Why would you marry someone you didn’t love, no matter how drunk you were?” Liam just stares at her. “And when I said I needed space, where was the first place you went? Not to Niall, who would put you up in an instant, and not to Harry and Louis, who you know would sit for hours with you talking about what a heinous bitch I am. You went to Zayn. You always go to Zayn. Why is that, Liam?”

 

Liam still doesn’t say anything.

 

“When you got that promotion at work, you phoned Zayn the second you knew but you waited until I walked into the pub that night before you told me. You told me, your fucking fiancée, that you’d been promoted to senior sales at the same time as you told everyone else but Zayn already knew and you just shared this private little smile and I was so angry, Liam, I was so angry until I realised that it just makes so much more sense that way.”

 

“Oh my god,” Liam says dumbly, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows down the lump in his throat. “Oh my god, it’s Zayn, isn’t it?”

 

Sophia groans and shakes him by the shoulders. “What’s Zayn, Liam?”

 

“Zayn,” Liam repeats, looking near tears. “I think I’m in love with him.”

 

Sophia lets out something that sounds like a cross between a snarl and a squeal and throws her arms around his neck. “Yes, you fucking are, Liam! You’re in love with Zayn Malik, have been since you were eighteen years old.”

 

“Fuck,” Liam says, bottom lip wobbling. “Why did nobody tell me?!”

 

“Because we all thought you’d get there eventually, you dense bastard!” Sophia cries. “We’ve all known for years!”

 

“You knew?! And… and all our friends knew too? So when I heard Harry say today that Louis promised him I felt the same, it wasn’t a lie? Like you all genuinely knew before I did?”

 

“It wasn’t a lie, love,” Sophia says softly. “Clearly we all know you better than you know yourself.”

 

“Oh my god,” Liam says again. “I do though, don’t I? He’s… fuck, Sophia, he’s everything, isn’t he?”

 

“You don’t need to tell me that,” Sophia scoffs playfully. “I’ve spent the past few years of my life trying to pretend he isn’t your bloody everything, you knob.”

 

“Sophia, I…” Liam starts, clasping both her hands in his. “I genuinely didn’t know. It wasn’t…”

 

“I know, Li, I know,” she says, squeezing his hands back. “You oblivious fuck.”

 

“I don’t know what to do,” Liam whispers, terror lacing his voice. “I haven’t… not with a boy and I can’t mess this up, I can’t, not with Zayn.”

 

“I should bloody hope you haven’t with a boy considering I’m the only person you’ve slept with, you twat.”

 

“You know what I mean,” Liam says, shaking his head. “I don’t… I don’t know how to do this with anyone that isn’t you.”

 

“You’ll work it out,” Sophia says, squeezing his hands again. “It’s Zayn, you two are, like, mapped out in the constellations or some shit. You need to go and tell him though, babe, ‘cos from what Jade’s told me you did kind of fuck up.”

 

“I know I did,” Liam groans. “I know I did and I feel bloody awful, Soph.”

 

“You need to tell him how you feel,” she says matter-of-factly. “You still live with the bloke, he’s still your husband, for fuck’s sake. He’ll forgive you once he understands it was just you being a stupid arse.”

 

“You think?” Liam near whimpers.

 

“I _know_ ,” Sophia says, rolling her eyes. “You only hurt him because you freaked, am I right?”

 

“He just… he just stood there, I didn’t know what to do,” Liam moans, resting his forehead on Sophia’s shoulder. “I can’t believe I managed to get to twenty-five and not twig.”

 

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t help matters,” Sophia says, stroking her hand across the back of Liam’s head. “And I’m sorry. We both fucked up and the thing is, Li, I’ll always love you a lot but we’re not… we’re not made for each other in the same way you and Zayn are, you know?”

 

Liam nods, gripping her tighter. “I love you too. I love you a lot and you’re one of the best friends anyone could ever ask for, you know that, don’t you?”

 

“I know,” Sophia grins, ducking forward to press a kiss onto his forehead. “Now go get your boy for me.”

 

Liam nods, pulling Sophia into one last lingering hug before he gets up and lets her lead him to the front door.

 

“Best of luck,” she says, straightening his collar like she always used to. “I hope it goes really well for you, Liam, I really mean that.”

 

“Thank you, darling,” Liam says, eyes crinkling as he smiles at her. “And I hope it all goes well with Perrie.”

 

Sophia blushes. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

 

“I feel like,” Liam swallows nervously, “this should have been more awkward than it was, you know?”

 

“Liam,” Sophia says, stroking his arm gently, “our relationship ended months ago. Maybe even years ago, I don’t know. By the end of it we really were just best friends. It doesn’t need to be awkward because we both fell out of love a long time ago.”

 

“I know,” Liam mumbles, running a nervous hand over his head. “I know and I’m so grateful you understand and I just… I’m so nervous right now I feel like I might puke.”

 

“Liam, this is Zayn we’re talking about,” Sophia says, giving him a gentle nudge out the door. “Have you ever been nervous talking to Zayn before?”

 

“Yes,” Liam admits, heart thumping against his chest. “All the fucking time because he’s so gorgeous and funny and perfect and good at what he does and I’m just his dumb best friend who works in advertising who can’t compete…”

 

“Liam Payne, you could tell that boy you found a penny on the pavement and he’d hang off your every bloody word. He _loves_ you. And you love him. It’ll come naturally to you, I promise.”

 

“Oh god, okay, I can do this,” Liam says, straightening his jacket out and letting out a nervous breath. “I can do this, can’t I?”

 

“You know you can, Liam,” Sophia says, nudging him again. “Get out my house and go get your man.”

 

“Okay,” Liam says again, nodding frantically as he starts jogging down the pathway.

 

“Love you!” Sophia calls after him.

 

“Love you too!” he yells back, giving her a quick wave.

 

His mind is racing as his feet pound against the pavement, breath coming out in quick pants as his legs carry him the twenty minute walk back into town. People give him dodgy looks as he thunders forward, sweat dripping down his forehead but he pays them no mind because his heart is beating _ZaynZaynZayn._

 

He lets himself into the apartment block and dashes up the stairs, pounding his fists on Zayn’s front door because it just doesn’t feel right to use his key in this moment.

 

Zayn opens it a few seconds later, his features locked in a tight line as he looks Liam up and down. “Liam, what the…?”

 

Liam cuts him off with a kiss, curling his hand into the front of his t-shirt and tugging him forward so he can press their mouths together before he can second-guess himself. The kiss only lasts a second though because Zayn is shoving him off, eyes wide with hurt and fear.

 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he says angrily. Liam stares at him for a few seconds before trying to step closer. Zayn immediately takes a step back. “Liam…”

 

“Zayn, please, I’m so in love with you,” Liam blurts. Zayn freezes.

 

“I am, I…” Liam stammers, moving closer to him again so he can cup Zayn’s face. “I’ve been stupid and… and blind and stupid. I really have, I just…” He sighs, running his thumb across Zayn’s delicate cheekbone. “I love you and I’m pretty sure I have since I was, like, eighteen, but I was so caught up in being in this relationship with Sophia that I never really thought about it but the thing is, Zayn, it’s always been you. Whenever something good happened to me, you were the first one I’d text, not her. And we’ve both said it, we both got into this relationship when we were, like, children still and we both didn’t want to be gay, you know? And I don’t even know if I am gay; all I know is I want you so much and I’m so, so sorry I’ve been such a twat for the past seven years.”

 

Zayn blinks at him. “You can’t just… you can’t fuck with me here, Liam, please,” he near whispers. “Because I can’t be your little gay experiment, or… or your fling to get over Sophia or whatever, I just can’t.”

 

“You’re _not_ ,” Liam insists, hands squeezing Zayn’s face tighter. “I wouldn’t do that to you, Zayn. You’re the most important person in my life, you know that, right?”

 

“Am I?” Zayn asks, pulling out of Liam’s grasp. “Because earlier this morning you were fucking snapping at me that you couldn’t wait to get back with your ex. That’s not really the behaviour of a bloke who’s going to admit his so-called feelings to me.”

 

“Zayn, I…” Liam tries to step back into his space but Zayn holds his hand up and glares. “I freaked out, okay? Because it’s you and I’ve been, like, having less than platonic feelings about you so much recently, and then you just walked into the kitchen all damp and shirtless and I… I freaked out! Because I wanted to touch you so badly but you’re my fucking best friend and so I freaked and I shouted at you because I’m a massive prick and then I went to Harry’s and Harry shouted at me and then I went to Sophia’s and Sophia shouted at me…” He pauses for a second and takes a deep breath. “Because everyone told me the same thing. Harry, Louis, Sophia. Said you’re in love with me too.”

 

Zayn’s eyes go wide with panic.

 

“Do you?” Liam asks slowly. “Do you love me too?”

 

There’s a pause.

 

“Yes,” Zayn eventually whispers. “For fuck’s sake, Liam, I’ve been in love with you since I was eighteen fucking years old.”

 

“Shit,” Liam whispers back. “Shit, Zayn, I…”

 

“Do you know what the worst thing in the whole world is?” Zayn says, looking up at Liam fearfully. “I’ll tell you. The worst thing in the world is being married to the one person you’ve wanted since you knew what love felt like but he’s still hung up on someone else and tells you nearly every day that getting married was just some drunken mistake that you’d never ever do sober.”

 

“Oh god, Zayn,” Liam groans, balling his hand up into a fist and hitting himself in the forehead. “I thought… I thought I still loved Sophia, I did. But we talked it out and we realised that we were only getting married because we thought it was the right thing to do. But we’re both… our relationship was over long before that; god, I don’t think we’ve even had sex since our engagement night.”

 

“That’s very reassuring,” Zayn snaps. “Look, Liam, what do you want from me here? So you want to be with me now, is that it?”

 

“I…” Liam starts, scratching nervously at his neck. “Yes. Yes, I want to be with you. I’m so sorry I’ve been such an oblivious dick but now I’m ready to, like, start being the husband that you deserve.”

 

“The husband I deserve?” Zayn lets out an almost hysterical laugh. “What the fuck do you think this is, Liam? That we can just bounce into married life comfortably after all this bullshit you’ve put me through?”

 

“No! Well… I don’t…”

 

“Liam, I’m not willing to fuck this up with you,” Zayn says forcefully. “We can’t pretend you’re not used to being in a super serious relationship and we can’t pretend that I’m not your first boy because that’s what will tear us apart. And you’re too fucking important to me to do that.”

 

“What are you saying, Zayn?” Liam practically whimpers, rubbing his face in his hands. “Are you saying I need to date other boys first, is that it?”

 

“No!” Zayn shouts, sighing exasperatedly. “No… I fucking don’t want you to date anyone else that isn’t me ever again, you stupid knob.”

 

“Then what do you want?” Liam cries frustratedly.

 

“I want to date you!” Zayn says. “Not be your husband yet. We’ve, god, Liam, we’ve been husbands on paper long enough for that not to matter yet. I don’t want to rush it, I want us to do it properly if we’re going to do it, you know?”

 

“That seems fair,” Liam says after a pause. “Can I ask you on a date then?”

 

Zayn finally cracks a small smile. “If that’s what you want.”

 

“Zayn Malik, will you do me the honour of letting your stupid silly twat of a best friend take you out on a date after seven long years of me being a stupid shitbag?”

 

“Okay,” Zayn says, smiling shyly. “I’ll go on a date with you, Liam.”

 

Liam lets out a sigh of relief, hands covering his mouth almost sheepishly as he tries to bite back his grin. “Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Zayn grins, toying with his necklace awkwardly. “When shall we go?”

 

“Right now?”

 

“Right now?” Zayn repeats, eyes wide.

 

“Yeah, I mean,” Liam looks at his watch, “it’s only seven thirty. Have you eaten?”

 

“Well, no, but…”

 

“My treat,” Liam says quickly, stepping cautiously into Zayn’s space again, resting a hand tentatively on his hip. “Please?”

 

Zayn softens. “Sure. We can go to Nando’s or something,” he murmurs, hands moving in front of him like he’s unsure of whether to touch Liam or not. Liam gently takes his wrists and guides them to his hips, letting them rest lightly there before he goes back to gripping Zayn’s own.

 

“Can we… can I kiss you first?” he asks nervously. Zayn hesitates but nods, bringing one hand up to gently cup Liam’s cheek before they’re kissing again.

 

It’s strange kissing someone who isn’t Sophia but Zayn kisses like he’s hungry for it, like he knows exactly how to make Liam weak at the knees with his tongue and his lips. Liam ends up fisting a hand in Zayn’s hair, relishing in the feel of Zayn’s scruff against his, the fact that his lips are plump and smooth (and not covered with a god-awful sticky lip gloss) and the way that his heart thumps against his chest as he realises just how much he’s wanted this for _so long._

 

When they pull apart, Liam keeps an arm firm on Zayn’s hip so they stay as close to each other as they can, breathing in each other’s air for the time being. Zayn looks flushed all the way down to his chest and his hair is out of place from where Liam’s hand had been but he’s flashing a million dollar grin, staring at the floor like he can’t quite believe what just happened.

 

“Zayn,” Liam says softly, tilting his head to try and catch Zayn’s eye. “Zayn, wow.”

 

Zayn finally looks up, grinning with his tongue between his teeth in that way that Liam can barely stand. Liam presses their lips together again softly, pecking him one, two, three times before pulling away, running a gentle hand down his side.

 

“That was nice,” Zayn tells him. Liam knocks his hip with his own playfully.

 

“Only nice? You wound me, Malik.”

 

“I don’t want you getting a big head, babe,” Zayn grins, pecking him one last time before pulling away. “Shall we go and get food now?”

 

“Needy,” Liam chuckles. Zayn sticks out his tongue and disappears into his bedroom, emerging a few seconds later in a fresh shirt and smelling of his signature cologne. Liam holds out his hand and Zayn takes it cautiously as they walk out their flat and towards the tube station.

 

“Are you okay?” Liam murmurs as they traipse down the stairs, squeezing his hand gently.

 

“Yeah,” Zayn reassures. “It’s just… I’ve never held another boy’s hand in public, that’s all.”

 

“We don’t have to if you’re not ready?” Liam says, thumbing over Zayn’s knuckles softly. “This is new for me too, I just…”

 

“No, no, I want to,” Zayn says. “I do need to get my Oyster card out though.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Liam says, dropping Zayn’s hand so he can dig around in his own pockets for his wallet. “You always were the smart one.”

 

Zayn grins, flipping his wallet open and pressing it into the scanner so he can get onto the platform. Liam follows suit, sliding his wallet back into his pocket and taking Zayn’s hand again.

 

They end up in Nando’s, legs tangled underneath the table in a small corner booth.

 

“I guess I owe you an explanation,” Liam says awkwardly as he toys with his napkin. “Like a proper one. Okay, so to put it simply I am a moron.”

 

“Well, yeah,” Zayn says through a smile. “An oblivious fuck if ever I’ve known one.”

 

“I want to give this a go,” Liam says slowly, “but you’re going to have to help me. I can’t… I’ve forgotten how to not be in a long term relationship.”

 

“Babe, I know,” Zayn says, squeezing his hand. “I have faith in us, yeah?”

 

“Have you really been in love with me since I was eighteen?” Liam blurts. “Even when my hair was that bad back then?”

 

Zayn covers his mouth to stop the giant snort of laughter that escapes him getting any louder. “It was endearing,” he giggles. “You looked like a puppy. Still do.”

 

“Do not,” Liam squawks indignantly. “I am a rugged, handsome individual who is very manly.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Zayn grins. “Anyway, you were cute as hell and funny as hell and you just… you had this quality about you that made me want to get close to you. I don’t know what it was about you but it just… it never went away.” He shrugs.

 

“Zayn,” Liam says, jutting out his bottom lip. “Zayn, my god.”

 

“I just… I couldn’t get you out of my head the first time I met you and then I just couldn’t stop _not_ getting you out of my head, if that makes any sense at all,” Zayn laughs sheepishly.

 

“You twat, I had no idea,” Liam says. “I need this shit pointed out to me because clearly I am the least perceptive person alive.”

 

“Yeah, well,” Zayn says, cutting himself off as the waiter drops their food off. “You got there in the end.”

 

“Okay, so I’m not…” Liam takes a deep breath, chewing nervously on a chip. “I’m not saying I’m going to be good at this. I know… I know earlier I was big on getting back with Sophia but after our talk today and, you know, the fact that I’m sitting here with you right now, like, I really don’t, okay? But you need to help me here.”

 

“Maybe we should start by getting a divorce,” Zayn says quietly.

 

“What?!”

 

“We need to learn to be boyfriends before we can be husbands, Li,” Zayn says, rolling his eyes. “I want to make this as natural as possible, right, and being husbands before boyfriends is not natural.”

 

“We’re boyfriends now?” Liam can’t help but beam. “Are you sure?” Zayn groans and throws a chip at him.

 

“Eighteen, remember?” he says exasperatedly. He steals one of Liam’s chips and pops it in his mouth. “Yes, you fucking twat.”

 

“Boyfriend,” Liam repeats, testing it out on his tongue. “Never had one of them before.”

 

Zayn just smiles and steals another one of his chips.

 

When they get back to their flat, Liam slides his hand delicately down Zayn’s cheek and kisses him again, long and slow. He tastes like chicken and sangria and cigarettes and Liam loves him so much.

 

“I had a good time tonight,” he says softly. Zayn hums and nods.

 

“Me too,” he says. “We should do it again sometime.”

 

“Definitely,” Liam grins. He kisses him again just because he can and then Zayn pulls back.

 

“I’m going to use the bathroom and then go to bed. See you in the morning?”

 

“See you in the morning,” Liam parrots, stealing one last kiss and ducking into his bedroom and closing the door. He presses his fingers to his lips where he can almost still feel Zayn’s and he smiles to himself.

 

It’s a start.

 

*

 

Eleven years ago, Liam Payne had let his best friend Louis Tomlinson drag him and their new friend Niall Horan to a trendy bar in Soho so Louis could watch the boy he’d been crushing on from his sociology lectures sing.

 

“He’s very good,” Louis had said, ducking his head so Liam couldn’t see his blush. “Pretty fit too.”

 

Liam had simply rolled his eyes. “I’m meant to be skyping Sophia tonight, you know.”

 

Louis had faked a dramatic yawn. “Shut up. You skype, like, every day. You need to live some life, Liam.”

 

“And by live some life you mean wingman you?”

 

“That’s exactly what I mean,” Louis had grinned, pinching Liam’s cheek.

 

The bar was crowded and had smelt heavily of weed but Louis had grabbed Liam’s wrist in one hand and Niall’s in the other and yanked them close to the front, positioning themselves at a bar table where Harry would definitely be able to see them.

 

Louis had been practically buzzing with excitement and Liam had had to put a hand on his shoulder to stop him bouncing so much.

 

“Stop bouncing so much, you look ridiculous, mate,” he told him. Louis had stomped on his foot and flipped him the finger.

 

Eventually the lights had faded to low and a skinny kid with wild curls held in place by a decorative headband had taken the stage. “Er, hi, ‘m Harry Styles and I’ll be playing some songs for you tonight.”

 

There had been a collective whoop throughout the pub and Liam had watched closely as Harry caught Louis’ eye in front of him and flushed a deep magenta. Louis had flashed him his most endearing smile and a double thumbs up, then Harry had cleared his throat and launched into a song about not letting her go or something.

 

He really was very good, Liam couldn’t help thinking. The set was completely acoustic and he sang his way through an eight song setlist without any instruments, leaving all three of them suitably impressed.

 

Once he’d been applauded offstage, Harry had jumped back into the crowd, heading straight over to Louis, Liam and Niall but with another lad in tow. “Hi, Louis,” he had breathed out happily. Louis smiled up at him dopily until Niall had cleared his throat loudly.

 

“Oh, right, right. This is Harry, we have sociology together. Harry, this is Liam and this is Niall.”

 

“Lovely to meet you,” Harry had beamed. He gestured to the lad beside him. “This is Zayn, my best mate.”

 

Liam tore his eyes away from the fond glances that Harry and Louis were sharing between themselves and looked at Zayn, who was side-stepping nervously from foot to foot. The first thing Liam had noticed was this bloke had really, really beautiful eyes. The second thing he had noticed was he was, in fact, one of the most gorgeous human beings Liam had ever seen but he immediately quashed the thought when the thought of Sophia guiltily flickered through his mind.

 

The five of them had ended up in a booth together, drinking pints as a group for the rest of the night. Zayn had seemed really shy at first but after a few pints had livened right up and actually turned out to be incredibly funny and quite similar to Liam, in the end.

 

After that night, Louis and Harry became completely inseparable and Liam, Zayn and Niall watched proudly as the pair fell in love, got engaged at the end of their third year, got married a year later and stayed strong and happy and supportive of one another as Harry slowly became more and more successful and climbed up the album charts, Niall following closely behind as his lead guitarist and best friend on the road.

 

Likewise, Niall had found love in their second year of uni – a bubbly, gorgeous girl named Jade who was studying to be a nurse. Niall had fallen hard and fast, moved in with her straight out of uni and proposed drunkenly on New Year’s Eve. Four years later, Niall is now the proud father of baby Millie Horan and still as gone for his wife as he was back then.

 

The five of them had stayed a close knit group through the years but when Harry and Niall went off touring (Louis would more often than not follow because he and Harry couldn’t bear to be apart and his job as a freelance football writer was pretty flexible), Liam and Zayn fell into an easy friendship, just them two. They would have film night and FIFA nights and meet in the pub after work and Liam loved it. He began to look forward to these nights when it was just him and Zayn alone but he never really thought about it too much.

 

His long-term with relationship with Sophia had been suffering at this point – they barely touched or kissed or held each other like they used to and Liam, convinced that Sophia was the love of his life, had mistaken her cold attitude towards him as upset at the fact that he hadn’t proposed yet so he did just that. She had cried when he asked her and said yes almost immediately, letting him fuck her that night like he hadn’t in so long and as he held her close afterwards he was convinced things would get easier and they’d be happily in love for the rest of their lives.

 

Louis had taken on his role of best man very, very seriously, sorting out the stag weekend without even asking Liam if a long weekend in Las Vegas was okay and booked the flights before Liam could protest.

 

That was when Liam started to wonder if something was not quite right between him and Zayn. When he had called Zayn up to mention that Louis had booked the flights already and he really hoped Zayn was okay with going that weekend, Zayn had snapped that of course it was okay and that he couldn’t talk right now. Liam had stared at the end call screen and had then spent a good few hours wondering why that phone call had made him so upset.

 

The awkwardness and the tenseness between them hadn’t dispersed and by the time the weekend came around Liam was almost nervous because he didn’t know what was making Zayn so upset or what he could do to fix it. Apparently the solution to this was to get absolutely blind drunk, take Zayn down to a registry office and make him his husband.

 

Liam wonders if he would have gotten his act together if he hadn’t made this huge drunken mistake (although he refuses to see it as a mistake because look where he is now) whether he’d still be with Sophia, whether they’d reach a point where they wouldn’t be speaking to each other or if they’d even have gotten divorced by now.

 

He’s infinitely glad things ended up going the way they did though because right now he can’t imagine his life any different.

 

He stands there now, beaming into the face of the man he loves as his friends and family watch on. There’s Harry, Louis, Niall, Jade and Millie on the first aisle, Sophia and Perrie with Zayn and Liam’s sisters in the second. Liam can practically feel the happiness radiating off them but he doesn’t want to tear his eyes away from Zayn, who’s standing there with his tongue between his teeth in what the others have duly named his Liam Smile.

 

“Right, are you two ready?” the officiator asks. Liam nods, holding his hands out to take both of Zayn’s in his as the ceremony begins.

 

“Do you, Zayn Javaad Malik, take Liam James Payne to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?”

 

“I do,” Zayn answers. He squeezes Liam’s hands. “Again.”

 

There’s a ripple of laughter through the room and Liam thumbs gently over his knuckles.

 

“And do you, Liam James Payne, take Zayn Javaad Malik to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?”

 

“I do,” Liam smiles. The officiator beckons Louis over and he pulls both rings out of his pocket. Liam takes Zayn’s band and slides it deftly onto his finger, bringing his knuckles to his lips and kissing them softly. Zayn then does the same, sliding the gold ring on to Liam’s knuckle and then squeezing his hand tightly.

 

“I now pronounce the two of you husband and husband!”

 

The newlyweds step forward into each other’s space straight away and their lips mould together. Liam’s hand finds its familiar place cupping Zayn’s cheek, the solid gold band knocking against the tiny gold rings Zayn put in his ears to match it. The kiss eventually just turns into the pair of them bumping faces because they’re both smiling so hard so Liam pulls away, sliding his hand down and wrapping it around Zayn’s waist.

 

“I love you,” he murmurs in Zayn’s ear, just because he can. “Husband.”

 

“Husband means nothing to us, really,” Zayn grins back, pecking his cheek. “But I married you again anyway. That’s love.”

 

“We can actually get an annulment now, you know,” Liam whispers, pinching at his side playfully. “We don’t need to consummate it, not with that attitude anyway.”

 

“Oh shut up,” Zayn says, taking Liam’s hand in his and marching him down to where their best friends are waiting with open arms.

 

Husband doesn’t mean nothing, Liam thinks later that night when Zayn is lying curled into his chest after their second round. He cards a hand delicately through Zayn’s sweaty fringe and Zayn hums happily, snuggling in closer.

 

“Husbands doesn’t mean nothing, you know,” he whispers.

 

Zayn cracks open one eye. “What?”

 

“Earlier, you said us being husbands means nothing because we were married for so long before it meant anything.”

 

“Yeah, so?” Zayn yawns, rolling over so he can look at Liam properly.

 

“Well, if you think about it, if we hadn’t got married in the first place we might not be here because I am a fucking idiot,” Liam says, rolling over and pulling Zayn into him.

 

“You are a fucking idiot, s’true,” Zayn grins, bopping Liam’s nose gently. “I dunno, babe, I like the idea that you would have gotten here eventually.” He presses their lips together briefly. “And husbands means everything, you piece of shit. I love you.”

 

“I should bloody hope so, otherwise marrying you twice was a mistake,” Liam grins. Zayn flips him off but there’s very little heat behind it, what with the way he’s currently trailing kisses down Liam’s chest.

 

If this is what marriage is meant to be like, Liam thinks he could get very used to it.

 


End file.
